Redirect You

This page is just an archive for all my old posts. My new blog is at Thank you.

27 March 2007

And for those who fear Allah...

The above video is from the Qur'an, surah at-Talaq, verse 2-3. Translation below:

"And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out, And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion."

Today, I experienced something that confirms this ayat. And I soooo believe it totally.

Just this morning I was in severe depression. I had a problem. Something that I really found hard to solve. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't ask any of my friends to help me. They weren't in a position to help me. Not to say that I'm looking down on them, but that my problem of such nature that it wasn't their level to solve it.

The desperation I felt, only God knows the intensity of it. I wondered for a while in UTM. Trying to calm my soul. Let the car drive itself (I drove la! but without aim).

Then I said to myself, why don't you go to the masjid? Isn't it better that you confess your problems to God than try to solve it yourself? You should know now that you are NOTHING! All you prided capabilities... Have they helped you solve anything? NO. All your prided self-esteem... Where have they gone? DISAPPEARED. So who else can help? NO one but God. Your Creator.

I turned into the junction towards the masjid. My heart, lemme tell you, was still a storm of emotions. A massive cloud of depression stuck in the core of me. I was ready to cry. I remembered what my sister said when I said (half-serious and half-joking), "I feel like crying."

"Then cry." She said. "Cry til you're satisfied, then continue doing your work."

At that moment when I was on my way to the masjid, I remembered her words. I thought, where better and how better to cry than in confession to the Lord?

When I arrived, I did my ablutions. I prepared my heart. I prayed two rakaats to calm myself. Then I prayed solat hajat.

I read:

"Allah! There is no god but He, the Living, the Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth? He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in guarding and preserving them for He is the Most High, the Supreme (in glory)." Ayatul-Kursiy [al-Baqarah: 255]
As I got to the part where Allah said, "He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind them", tears fell from my eyes. I cannot describe the feeling i had then. I remember that I couldn't handle my emotions anymore. Just that. So I let fall tears supressed from the depression that biult up from the morning.

As I did my sujud, I feared. I feared that Allah might leave me alone with my problems. So I called to Him. I prayed, "O Allah!! Don't leave me! Don't leave me! Don't leave me!". The fear became so great that my tears flowed.

When I stood up again, I read:

"On no soul doth Allah place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. (Pray:) 'Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou didst lay on those before us; our Lord! lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art our Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith.' " [alBaqarah: 286]
I thought this ayat to be very appropriate to my situation. I was getting to feel so stressed feeling the burden on me, that it was almost literal. It felt like a mountain was on my shoulders. So i read this ayat. I tried to mean it when I recited the du'a in the ayat. I related this ayat emotionally to my burdens. And I implored Allah to lighten my load.

I put my feelings into my last sujud. Putting all my hope. Confessing all my mistakes. Asking Allah to forgive me. I asked Him that if this test was due to my past sins, then O Allah, forgive my sins. I did not feel like I have the strength to face this test any longer.

I cried my heart out. All the time fearing and hoping. Fearing Allah might desert me, a lonely makhluq in this world. Hoping that he would accept me. Help me. Lighten my load. Forgive me. Open my heart. The list goes on and on.

After that solat, I calmed myself. I decided to take a nap.

Alhamdulillah, I felt... Liberated when I woke up. I said to myself, my problems were not solved yet, but let come what may. For Allah has determined my path. And I pray that it would be best for me. I was calm. Alhamdulillah.

Later that day, I got a call. Offering me an option that was a way out of my problems. Only Allah knows how I felt then. I could not express my gratitude enough by saying "alhamdulillah" a hundred times. I felt soooooo grateful that Allah answered my prayers so fast. I almost couldn't believe it.

Then I remembered the ayat in the video above. And I said to myself... O Allah, that is so true. My heart filled with amazement. And alhamdulillah, I went to solve my problems with a clear heart and a lighter burden.

There is no God but You Allah, praised be You Lord of the Universe.
Glorified be You from impure thoughts.
And to You I hang my fate,
For there is no other who may determine my path.

Search The Web