I think i am starting to have issues of sincerity. Somehow... Somehow... I'm starting to lose the feel of 'ibadah. I dunno why...
I guess it may be related to my character. I have this outbound nature that seems to attract attention. yep. I say attract attention because it is precisely that. I have no reservations saying like the Malays say (albeit in corrupted language), "suka mencapub". For that is me.
It may be that in many people, the nature of wanting to be known is there. But I think that in me, that nature is blown up to a disproportionate size. To the point that I could be narcissistic sometimes. Now this nature is a great vice with regards to sincerity. It could damage sincerity in such a way that your 'amal is out of the window within seconds.
I feel frustrated. Because there is a world of difference in doing something sincerely, and doing it insincerely. Ahh... Even this post is turning to be insincere... Thus I shall stop.
I guess it may be related to my character. I have this outbound nature that seems to attract attention. yep. I say attract attention because it is precisely that. I have no reservations saying like the Malays say (albeit in corrupted language), "suka mencapub". For that is me.
It may be that in many people, the nature of wanting to be known is there. But I think that in me, that nature is blown up to a disproportionate size. To the point that I could be narcissistic sometimes. Now this nature is a great vice with regards to sincerity. It could damage sincerity in such a way that your 'amal is out of the window within seconds.
I feel frustrated. Because there is a world of difference in doing something sincerely, and doing it insincerely. Ahh... Even this post is turning to be insincere... Thus I shall stop.
[ad-Du'a]
"Oh Lord... Make me one of The Sincere. Oh Lord... Make me one of The Sincere. Oh Lord... Make me one of The Sincere. Make me one of them whom you love. Make me one of them whom you let into your jannah."يا مقلٌب القلوب ثبٌت قلبي على دينك.
يامقلٌب القلوب ثبٌت قلبي على طاعتك.
يا مقلٌب القلوب ثبٌت قلبي على دعوة في سبيلك.
إنك نعم المولى ونعم النصير
[ِAyats from the Qur'an]"Say: 'My Lord hath commanded justice; and that ye set your whole selves (to Him) at every time and place of prayer, and call upon Him, making your devotion sincere as in His sight: such as He created you in the beginning, so shall ye return.' " [al-A'raaf - 7:29]"Verily it is We Who have revealed the Book to thee in Truth: so serve Allah, offering Him sincere devotion." [az-Zumar - 39:2]
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