I tried thinking of catchy titles for this entry... But no... NOthing came to mind.
Anyhow, in case anyone did not know yet, my grandfather met his last hour on Monday (13/11/2006). Probable cause: massive heart attack. At least that's what mom said based on the evidence.
That was the day of my second final paper. That was the day I was intending to celebrate being able to actually fill in more than 90% of the answers on that paper.
Lemme reiterate the events according to my POV. Here goes:
13 Nov 2006
1945:
I was at a friend's room when I got a call from my father asking me when's my next paper.
My feelings... Bewildered.
My guess... Something urgent came up.
Preparing to listen seriously, I buckled myself for any possibility that came to mind. The last time it was this serious was when my moyang died. I gave my answer, "On Friday. Why?"
"Atuk collapsed just now. Seems serious. We going back to kampung. Byang's staying, you?" my dad said. I do not remember exactly what he said, but the gist of it is all there I guess. All dialogue included are all approximations.
"Staying..." I replied. Well. I got an exam coming. And it's one of my critical subjects. maybe I didn't even want to believe the seriousness of the situation. Still, I thought, I had to be pragmatic. My brother also needs support on this end of Malaysia for his exams.
"OK. So later we'll be going. I'll keep you updated on Atuk's condition." Abah replied and hung up.
I kept to myself for a moment. Pondering the situation. I decided to stay for a while at my friends room.
Then Abah called again trying to arrange things here and for the team going back to kampung. And he said "Come home la Yeop. Easier to arrange things."
With that, I immediately went back.
2015:
Arrived home. Joined them for dinner. Then discussions started.
The original plan was as I said, for everyone but me and my bro Byang to go back to Ipoh. So we arranged it likewise. Then in the middle of dinner, Tok Polis (one of my father's uncles), called and advised for ALL of us going back, the situation seems really serious. So my father decided that we're all going back.
We finished dinner; prepared for travel. A long night's travel.
2145:
We took off. I drove the Merce; Angah drove the Iswara. The travel plan:
Destination: Ipoh, Perak
Detours: 1. Pick Mom up at Seremban (she had to attend a course), 2. Pick Mak Usu up at UPM
2200+:
Some along the stretch of the Johor PLUS, Tok Polis called again. He confirmed that Atuk has now passed away.
Innaa lillahi wainnaa ilayhi raji'uun...
2330+:
Arrived at Seremban, Allson Klana resort.
Pick Mom up. Driver & Co-driver shuffling.
Merce: Abah and Mom
Iswara: Angah and Yeop
14 Nov 2006
0100+:
Arrived at Serdang. Picked up Mak Usu. Abah's bongsu sister who's only 4 years older than I am (more like a sister to me than an aunt).
0200-0430:
Continued travels.
Stopped here and there for snacks, rest and toilet breaks.
0500:
Arrival at the destination.
We entered Atuk's house and we saw his body laid on his bed in the living room. It's kinda shocking. He looked so peaceful that might've only been sleeping.
Imagine the mix of emotions.
I guess there was a tiny bit of hope left that I began to wonder maybe he's only sleeping. Maybe there's a rise and fall of breathing still. But in the same moment... There was also acceptance. Acceptance that he was in this world no longer. There was a need to console Opah. There was a need to be her support, to be my father's support, to be my aunts' support; to be my family's support.
0600:
Subuh...
Determining that I couldn't do anything as yet. I prayed then slept.
0800:
My siblings woke me up. Got breakfast. Saw people coming in. All kinds of relatives and friends. Helped out here and there whenever I could. In my mind; I'm definitely going to solatkan Atuk.
0900-1130:
Waited for RM Nazrin. Atuk was a close friend at the istana. So RM Nazrin wanted to show his respect and give his condolences.
So we waited. During that time, the amount of people coming accumulated. By 1130, the porch was full of people. God knows who they were. I didn't recognize many of them as family members; so I guessed they were the Dato's and orang besars.
1130:
RM Nazrin arrived. He prayed for Atuk and offered condolences to Opah and Abah as the family representatives.
Then he went.
And suddenly there was a lot less people. That's one of the things that ticked me off actually. Where most of these people here for my grandfather? Or just because the RM came? Allah knows... Nevertheless, it still ticked me off.
1145:
Atuk's bathing. I did not take part. Abah did though. I prepared for the Jenazah Prayer.
1230:
Prayed the Jenazah Prayer for Atuk. I realised that there was really nothing much I could do about his death. The only thing is to pray, pray and pray. So I prayed.
Allahumma ghfir lijaddiy, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu. Allahumma ghfir lahu, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu. Allahumma ghfir lahu, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu. Allahumma ghfir lahu, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu...
1245:
Abah made a speech as the only son of my grandfather. He mentioned the normal things; tuntutan hutang and whatnot. Then he mentioned Atuk. He mentioned the fact that Atuk brought him up. He mentioned the fact that Atuk was well respected by those who knew him. He mentioned Atuk with never a lack of stories/experiences to tell...
I cried... This was the only time I ever cried when we went back. I did not cry when we received news of his death. I did not cry when I saw his body. I did not cry lifting him up for bathing. I did not cry praying for him. But the tears were too sorrowful to hold back then. So I let it go...
1300:
Went to the Masjid. Did the Zuhr Solah. Did the Jenazah Prayer again. Prayed for Atuk again and again.
1400:
Went to the graveyard. Went through the talkin.
Then we went back to Atuk's house.
===============
I guess the main events ended then. It was sudden. And it did happen at a critical time. With our exams and all.
BUT it did teach us some lessons.
Anyhow, in case anyone did not know yet, my grandfather met his last hour on Monday (13/11/2006). Probable cause: massive heart attack. At least that's what mom said based on the evidence.
That was the day of my second final paper. That was the day I was intending to celebrate being able to actually fill in more than 90% of the answers on that paper.
Lemme reiterate the events according to my POV. Here goes:
13 Nov 2006
1945:
I was at a friend's room when I got a call from my father asking me when's my next paper.
My feelings... Bewildered.
My guess... Something urgent came up.
Preparing to listen seriously, I buckled myself for any possibility that came to mind. The last time it was this serious was when my moyang died. I gave my answer, "On Friday. Why?"
"Atuk collapsed just now. Seems serious. We going back to kampung. Byang's staying, you?" my dad said. I do not remember exactly what he said, but the gist of it is all there I guess. All dialogue included are all approximations.
"Staying..." I replied. Well. I got an exam coming. And it's one of my critical subjects. maybe I didn't even want to believe the seriousness of the situation. Still, I thought, I had to be pragmatic. My brother also needs support on this end of Malaysia for his exams.
"OK. So later we'll be going. I'll keep you updated on Atuk's condition." Abah replied and hung up.
I kept to myself for a moment. Pondering the situation. I decided to stay for a while at my friends room.
Then Abah called again trying to arrange things here and for the team going back to kampung. And he said "Come home la Yeop. Easier to arrange things."
With that, I immediately went back.
2015:
Arrived home. Joined them for dinner. Then discussions started.
The original plan was as I said, for everyone but me and my bro Byang to go back to Ipoh. So we arranged it likewise. Then in the middle of dinner, Tok Polis (one of my father's uncles), called and advised for ALL of us going back, the situation seems really serious. So my father decided that we're all going back.
We finished dinner; prepared for travel. A long night's travel.
2145:
We took off. I drove the Merce; Angah drove the Iswara. The travel plan:
Destination: Ipoh, Perak
Detours: 1. Pick Mom up at Seremban (she had to attend a course), 2. Pick Mak Usu up at UPM
2200+:
Some along the stretch of the Johor PLUS, Tok Polis called again. He confirmed that Atuk has now passed away.
Innaa lillahi wainnaa ilayhi raji'uun...
2330+:
Arrived at Seremban, Allson Klana resort.
Pick Mom up. Driver & Co-driver shuffling.
Merce: Abah and Mom
Iswara: Angah and Yeop
14 Nov 2006
0100+:
Arrived at Serdang. Picked up Mak Usu. Abah's bongsu sister who's only 4 years older than I am (more like a sister to me than an aunt).
0200-0430:
Continued travels.
Stopped here and there for snacks, rest and toilet breaks.
0500:
Arrival at the destination.
We entered Atuk's house and we saw his body laid on his bed in the living room. It's kinda shocking. He looked so peaceful that might've only been sleeping.
Imagine the mix of emotions.
I guess there was a tiny bit of hope left that I began to wonder maybe he's only sleeping. Maybe there's a rise and fall of breathing still. But in the same moment... There was also acceptance. Acceptance that he was in this world no longer. There was a need to console Opah. There was a need to be her support, to be my father's support, to be my aunts' support; to be my family's support.
0600:
Subuh...
Determining that I couldn't do anything as yet. I prayed then slept.
0800:
My siblings woke me up. Got breakfast. Saw people coming in. All kinds of relatives and friends. Helped out here and there whenever I could. In my mind; I'm definitely going to solatkan Atuk.
0900-1130:
Waited for RM Nazrin. Atuk was a close friend at the istana. So RM Nazrin wanted to show his respect and give his condolences.
So we waited. During that time, the amount of people coming accumulated. By 1130, the porch was full of people. God knows who they were. I didn't recognize many of them as family members; so I guessed they were the Dato's and orang besars.
1130:
RM Nazrin arrived. He prayed for Atuk and offered condolences to Opah and Abah as the family representatives.
Then he went.
And suddenly there was a lot less people. That's one of the things that ticked me off actually. Where most of these people here for my grandfather? Or just because the RM came? Allah knows... Nevertheless, it still ticked me off.
1145:
Atuk's bathing. I did not take part. Abah did though. I prepared for the Jenazah Prayer.
1230:
Prayed the Jenazah Prayer for Atuk. I realised that there was really nothing much I could do about his death. The only thing is to pray, pray and pray. So I prayed.
Allahumma ghfir lijaddiy, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu. Allahumma ghfir lahu, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu. Allahumma ghfir lahu, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu. Allahumma ghfir lahu, warhamhu, wa'aafihi, wa'fu 'anhu...
1245:
Abah made a speech as the only son of my grandfather. He mentioned the normal things; tuntutan hutang and whatnot. Then he mentioned Atuk. He mentioned the fact that Atuk brought him up. He mentioned the fact that Atuk was well respected by those who knew him. He mentioned Atuk with never a lack of stories/experiences to tell...
I cried... This was the only time I ever cried when we went back. I did not cry when we received news of his death. I did not cry when I saw his body. I did not cry lifting him up for bathing. I did not cry praying for him. But the tears were too sorrowful to hold back then. So I let it go...
1300:
Went to the Masjid. Did the Zuhr Solah. Did the Jenazah Prayer again. Prayed for Atuk again and again.
1400:
Went to the graveyard. Went through the talkin.
Then we went back to Atuk's house.
===============
I guess the main events ended then. It was sudden. And it did happen at a critical time. With our exams and all.
BUT it did teach us some lessons.
- The age old lesson that death may come at a time not pondered. Yet this lesson always forgotten by most and many.
- Death may come in any way unexpected. Yet another lesson always forgotten; blown away by pleasure and fun.
- Death is not a thing to be feared. The weakness of the ummah is due to al-wahn. Love of adDunya; fear of death.
- It's OK to be sad. BUT never to utterly lose self-control over things that we may never control.
- Fateful events should be taken in stride. Such things should never slow your pace in life. Face it. Overcome it.
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