Redirect You

This page is just an archive for all my old posts. My new blog is at Thank you.

19 January 2007

First Love? Important? No?

A question in a forum:
Do you think first love is very important to others, if yes or no can i know why shuold you say that...?
An answer:
I think maybe you have to define what love is first. It's common in today's community that lust is confused with love.

What is love?
How do you define love?
How you know you are in love?
And the most important question: On what do you base love?

These are all questions that one must answer before one even asks whether or not the first love is important.

To me, if you like to see someone's face then that's not truly love yet; that's the beginning of lust. If your heart jumps when someone you like enters the room, then that's not truly love yet; that's you hormones stirring up your desires. If you are attracted to another's style, then that's not truly love yet; that's just your emotions admiring a superficial aspect of that person.

Love is a matter of the heart. Love is deep. Love is more than superficial attractions to the other gender. Love is predetermined. Love is something that comes from the understanding of another. Love knowing the other. Love is trust in the other.

Based on the above; we can conclude there is no such thing as love at first sight. It's only an illusion of lust. An illusion that reflects the desires of you body's wants and instincts. Wants and instincts that always have to be guarded with utmost care stemming from a faithful soul and guided with a rational mind.

Even when you achieve such a point as to understand one another, to know one another, to trust one another, there's still the final question to answer; "On what do you base love?"

Would it be on material matters? Would it be on emotional states? Would it be on rational reasons? Or would it be in the basis of aqidah? On the basis of a more eternal love to Allah Almighty?

Love has always been proclaimed as eternal by many songwriters, singers. By many poets and novelists. Yet many forget that one who lives as Allah's creation must die one day. Death is not something to be faced lightly. It is this nature of death that leads me to conclude that one may ONLY have the right to say love is eternal IF and ONLY IF one is confident of entering Jannah/Allah's paradise. Anything else would only be up to the moment of death. Hence the momentary nature of wordly/material love.

Up to this part we have discussed lust and love. We have also discussed the basis of love. Thus we come back to the original question: "Is first love important?"

My answer: Yes it is. If it truly is based on the basis on Iman and Taqwa. If it truly follows the guidelines set by Allah. If one does not become promiscuous from the that first love. If one does not entangle oneself on the path that leads toward fornication and adultery; or the path that follows no natural path such as homosexuality. If one commits to the partnership that is legal and binding. If one commits that joining towards a synergistic relationship that multiplies the promised rewards of the afterlife.

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